My wife has already pimped out our car with a Hello Kitty steering wheel cover which I assumed was as bad as the steering wheel area was going to get, but that was before the Hello Kitty steering wheel mod landed in my email box:
Hello Kitty
Hello Kitty Demon
I would much prefer to not get anything Hello Kitty emailed to me, but if it is going to happen, artwork that shows the true side of the evil feline is much better than the sickly sweet stuff that makes up most of what crosses my path. I would have to say the Hello Kitty demon is one of those pieces of artwork that shows what’s really under that “cute” exterior:
Hello Kitty Worst of and Weekly Photo Dump
I received the following question in my email the other day:
What are the worst Hello Kitty products out there?
“Everything?” would be my immediate response. That being said, many of the things that I personally find horrifying never seemed to raise much of a ruckus among the readers here and the Hello Kitty fanatics — well, let’s not even go there. I guess my life has become so Hello Kittified that I have a hard time distinguishing between Hello Kitty bad, Hello Kitty worse and Hello Kitty worst. So here’s a challenge/question – what are the top three worst Hello Kitty items I have listed on this blog (yes, I know there are a number of items even worse that I have not listed, but I try to keep this blog semi family safe) and why do you think so?
I’m hoping that some of you will be able to put together a rational explanation that I can give to my wife to show her that some of this crap is downright crazy — all while not getting me sent to the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag for the rest of the month. Yeah, I know. It isn’t going to work, but I have found that deluding myself that there is hope of one day escaping from Hello Kitty Hell makes the Hello Kitty toast and coffee go down easier in the morning…
Here’s this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump:
Hello Kitty DragonCon Pasties Nightmare
Hello Kitty Birthday Party
Hello Kitty Minivan
Hello Kitty 35th Anniversary Laptop
Hello Kitty Robot
Hello Kitty Bed
Hello Kitty Rain Boots
Hello Kitty Knife
Hello Kitty Pink Room
Hello Kitty Cutting Board
Hello Kitty Mascot Costumes
And a few photo post updates:
Hello Kitty Bra Shop
Hello Kitty Anime
Hello Kitty Bar
Hello Kitty sandwich
Hello Kitty Picket Fence
For most people that want a home, the dream is to have a little house with a white picket fence. The Hello Kitty fanatic, on the other hand, has a dream (and a nightmare to their partners) of a Hello Kitty house with pink Hello Kitty picket fence.
Hello Kitty Soda Can Necklaces
Hello Kitty, not satisfied to have Hello Kitty body shaped drinks, wants to have her face on all the popular soda drinks as well. While I’m sure that the people at Sanrio are looking into ways to actually create a Hello Kitty Coke and a Hello Kitty Pepsi, until that can be worked out they have decided to simply stamp the evil feline’s face onto the popular soda cans and make necklaces out of them:
Hello Kitty Bee Hive
There is something about animals that know when they have been wronged. Just take a look at these cats and you know they are going to be seeking revenge on their owner the first chance that they get. So anyone that thought it would be a good idea to build a Hello Kitty bee hive should have known that the bees would revolt:
Hello Kitty Toaster
I have absolutely no idea why the Hello Kitty toaster is such a popular appliance with Hello Kitty fanatics (quit sending photos of it to me!). There really is nothing that’s more dreadful than having Hello Kitty staring back at you in the morning when you still aren’t awake, especially when it is accompanied by a squeal of “how cute it is” when it is placed before you.
I’ve been avoiding writing anything about it simply because having to stare at Hello Kitty toast each morning pretty much is the limit anyone can take in regards to thinking about it each day:
Hello Kitty Twitter, Hello Kitty Facebook and Hello Kitty Photos
It’s truly beyond me why people that read this blog want me to also post on twitter and facebook since the regular blog posts should be enough to make any normal person go insane, but it’s a request that I get way too often. For your own mental health, I strongly encourage you not to sign up for either, but to keep my email clear of the whining requests, I have gone ahead and done it. If you dare to expose yourself to more torture from the evil feline than any person should endure, you can follow Hello Kitty Hell on twitter and Become a fan of Hello Kitty Hell on facebook.
In addition, I have started a Hello Kitty photo section so that 1) I don’t have to receive the same photos again and again and 2) Hello Kitty whiners will stop emailing me the same photos yet again (after sending them again and again) asking me why I don’t place the photos that they send again and again to me up. This section will be the photo dump area where you should only venture when you feel the need to inflict vast amounts of pain on yourself. For example, this week’s Hello Kitty photo dump includes:
Hello Kitty High Heel Shoe Phone
Hello Kitty Smart Car
Hello Kitty Belly Dancer
Hello Kitty Pregnant Cake
Hello Kitty Coffee Maker Toaster Oven
Welcome to a glimpse of my Hello Kitty Hell…
Hello Kitty Lip Tattoo
A perfectly normal response to something that seems incomprehensible would be “wtf — why would someone do that?” I know that I have lived in Hello Kitty Hell far too long because when the Hello Kitty lip tattoo ended up in my email box, my reaction was not “wtf — why?” but a resigned “I’m surprised someone didn’t do this sooner…”
