It seems that on a past Simpson’s episode, Lisa quits smoking using Hello Kitty nicotine patches
Sanrio
Hello Kitty Circuit Board
Today, two confounded IT technicians wandered into my office and handed me a drawer from the new rack that they were installing. Printed on the circuit board was….
I cringed with despair when people started to make Hello Kitty computer mods. This sickness only increased as manufacturers began rolling out mass produced Hello Kitty laptops (and another and another), but I figured that it had to end there. Seriously, what else could Hello Kitty really do? But, alas, as has been well established here in Hello Kitty Hell, the evil feline can always do more. For those of you not yet thoroughly convinced that Hello Kitty plans to place her face on every single product in the world, I present the Hello Kitty circuit board.
Hello Kitty Mop Slippers
It’s never good to offer to help around the house when you live with a Hello Kitty fanatic. Even a simple “is there anything I can do to help clean?” will inevitably result in the evil feline forcing herself upon you. Case and point: Hello Kitty mop slippers:
Hello Kitty Lunch Bags
It’s bad enough that my wife ends up making me Hello Kitty bentos for my lunch when I go out, but now when they aren’t wrapped in Hello Kitty handkerchiefs, I have to carry them in Hello Kitty lunch bags.
Hello Kitty Fashion Show Video
There is not much in this world that I would consider a worse form of torture and torment than having to sit through something like this Hello Kitty fashion show:
While my wife would view attending something like this close to heaven, I think I would need to carry around the sack full of the Hello Kitty barf bags just to make it through the first few minutes. It’s painful enough having to watch it on a video, let alone imagining what it would be like attending live. Of course, my wife is already frantically searching to see if there are other Hello Kitty fashion shows planned for the future — which means that my life could soon dive much, much deeper into Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by kttops who really deserves an extra special horrifying punishment for 1) making me sit through that video 2) upon seeing it, convincing my wife that not seeing a Hello Kitty fashion show will mean her life has somehow lost all its meaning 3) Thinking for even a fraction of a second that it would be a good idea to send me something like this…
Hello Kitty Pizza
I made a comment in one of my previous posts that Hello Kitty is on everything except pizza and beer and that in time, she will probably be on those too. Well, it seems that one of those can be crossed off the list with the introduction of Hello Kitty pizza:
There aren’t many things in life that can stop me from eating pizza, but this is one of them. There is something seriously wrong in the world when pizza is being made in the shape of the evil feline’s head with a slab of mystery meat as her bow.
Of course, this plays right into my wife’s ultimate goal of serving only Hello Kitty food and she is already searching the local stores to see if we can get some to try. Yet one more reason to note that things can always get worse in Hello Kitty Hell…
Sent in by Andrea who really should have to eat only Hello Kitty food for the rest of her life for thinking that it could in any way be a good idea to bring this to my wife’s attention.
Update: Even after all this, people think that attempts at Hello Kitty pizza is a good idea:
Sent in by Gloria
Sent in by joe (via capitu)
Sent in my renaldo
Sent in by sally
Sent in by Amy
Hello Kitty Hat – Photo of Horror 2
As if the Hello Kitty photo of horror wasn’t enough to show the pain that the significant other of Hello Kitty fanatics must endure (see, if you don’t have a Hello Kitty fanatic in your life, you may have made the terrible assumption that taking a photo like that was reserved for only special times such as a trip to Puroland), here are some more photos sent to me showing how Hello Kitty fanatics are willing to make their husbands wear Hello Kitty head gear just because they think it’s cute.
You know that terrified look that wild animals get when they are trapped and know that death is just around the corner? That is the look in this guy’s eyes. Shifting off to the side with a last second hope that there may be some type of escape only to realize that his life is trapped in Hello Kitty Hell and there is no escape. Unfortunately, I know the feeling and recognize the panicked look all too well.
It once again goes to show that Hello Kitty fanatics have no clue of the torture they administer to their significant others. This look of terror is “cute’ in The Hello Kitty fanatic’s eyes, and they somehow convince themselves that he is actually enjoying himself. Then they take it a step further and send the photos to a blog like mine where they get posted to humiliate the man even further.
Worse, my wife then wants to know why I am not willing to do such things when other husbands will. This ultimately leads my wife to attempt to get me to do so, and me eventually spending the night on the couch in the Hello Kitty sleeping bag.
Actually posting these photos was quite a dilemma. To do so is instant humiliation for the poor guy, and I know that he will not be able to leave his home for the next month due to embarrassment. At the same time, nobody would believe this actually takes place if I don’t (seriously, would anyone in their right mind think that dressing a man in a Hello Kitty hat would be a positive event in any way, shape or form and that people actually do it without photo proof?). I do need to send out a big “thank you” to him for taking another one for the Hello Kitty Hell team…
Sent in by Kelly, who deserves a special kind of Hell for 1) thinking it was a good idea to do this to her husband 2) thinking it was a good idea to take photos of the event 3) thinking it was a good idea to send the photos to me…
Hello Kitty Motorcycle Honda NSR
It’s when I receive emails like this, it’s going to be a bad day in Hello Kitty Hell (then again, can there ever really be a “good” day when your life is surrounded by the evil feline?) because I know the reaction of my wife will be the complete opposite of mine. Unwritten rules in Hello Kitty Hell state that the Hello Kitty fanatic will love a Hello Kitty item in direct inverse of how much the husband despises it. So I already knew what her reaction was going to be the second I saw this Hello Kitty Honda NSR motorcycle:
First, why would someone ever do that to a nice piece of machinery? I guess that’s a question that you can really ask about anything that has been Hello Kittified, but a motorcycle? The main problem with this is that I’ve been thinking about getting a motorcycle, with the number one attribute being that there aren’t Hello Kitty motorcycles, so the last thing I needed to show up in my email box was a Pepto-Bismol tinted, blinged out Hello Kitty motorcycle model to give my wife the idea that this would be a good thing to get.
Of course, my wife adores it. She’s been full out against the motorcycle idea as she stumped for the Hello Kitty scooter as being a better choice, but did a 100% about face upon seeing this. “Oh, if you get that motorcycle, I don’t have a problem…”
Somehow, a 6 foot 3 inch foreigner riding around in Japan on this with a Hello Kitty helmet seems like a good excuse for the police to shoot me as a suspected terrorist (I mean, seriously, wouldn’t you expect a terrorist to be using things like this on his final mission to really bring fear into the Japanese people?). All I know is my dream of having transportation free of Hello Kitty is quickly fading away and another reminder that Hello Kitty Hell can always get worse…
Sent in by Lexmj who noted, “I saw this horrendous motorcycle while visiting this particular motorshop for repairs…I really felt that it scares the spirit of riding outta this bike. I hope it won’t cause nightmares to you as it did to me, really dampens my passion for riding whenever I thought of it” which, of course, is exactly what he accomplished by sending this too me and therefore should have to ride that thing everyday for the rest of his life as punishment…
Hello Kitty Head For People
You knew that Sanrio and the evil feline wouldn’t be able to leave it alone with cats and more cats and dogs. They simply figured that if Hello Kitty fanatics were willing to torture their pets with these Hello Kitty heads, they would be more than willing to do it to themselves (even if it isn’t Halloween). Now the average person would say, “Wait a minute here. Hello Kitty fanatics are fanatical, but even they wouldn’t be so fanatical as to want a Hello Kitty head to wear on there head.” This, of course, is why Sanrio is a multi-billion dollar company and non fanatics are shaking their heads in amazement with only a few dollars in their pockets wondering if there could ever be an end to this:
Sometimes a picture says it all and there is nothing left to do in Hello Kitty Hell than to weep and hope the nightmare ends…
Left by emma-chan in the comments who I should wish unthinkable torture upon for even thinking it was a good idea to leave this photo for me to see, but who is obviously torturing herself far more than I could ever even imagine…